Dearest Saskia I'd always hoped we'd grow from youth to old age together and a part of me is always going to be heartbroken by your loss, even though I carry your friendship within me. I miss your honesty and your ability to call me out. I miss your humour and your chutzpah. I miss your energy and enthusiasm and the beautiful things you made. I miss your capacity for growth and your bravery. I miss our capacity to talk things through when we'd hurt one another and grow stronger in friendship as a result. I miss the way you appreciated me despite my faults.